I want this so much.

There are so many reasons why this should not or could not happen.

I tell myself I will not let this happen.

I wont laugh, smile, touch, give you any idea that this is an option.

But then I see you, and like ice cream in the sun, I am a puddle.

Laying melted on the floor

I touch your strong arm, laugh at your jokes, smile with both my mouth and eyes.

I am a goner.


I miss you.

But I had to stop answering.

I hope you understand.

This isn’t about what I want.

Cause god, I want you.

This is about whats best for us in the long run.

I was never going to be your girl.

You were never going to leave her.

It’s hard to get your messages,

To see your face and look away.

But loving you means destroying myself.

And I just can’t do that again.


Am I crazy because I feel things, show my emotion, wear my heart on my sleeve?

Or, am I crazy because my feelings, emotions, heart do not align with yours?

Why is it that when you are interested, I am a stargirl? Unique, beautiful, quirky, entertaining, intoxicating.

But the minute I show imperfection I am a bother, an obligation, some girl fawning over you needing to be reprimanded and kept in line.

You call it crazy, I say consistent.

You can not walk in and out as you please and expect me to be available at your command.

I am a person.

I have needs.

When those needs are not met, I am allowed to feel.

Maybe you are the fucking crazy one.