Pursuing the dreams I never had

I find myself yearning to accomplish, achieve, create.

This newly developed interest in creating a legacy

is due to an acquired understanding of all that I can be.

No one ever told me I couldn’t do great things.

But when you grow up average, you tend to slip through the cracks.

What those math tests never showed anyone is this fire in my soul.

An ability to lead, persevere, understand, and take action.

I was not an honor student.

But what I lack in book smarts I make up for in ability.

I only just recently started seeing the big picture.

Imagining a life where I wind up on top.

Never did I have these dreams before.

But I am so much more than what I once thought.


Some days I feel so scorned.

I think about the way you left

the way you forgot me.

You were here and then I blinked.

You filled me with hope and promise.

You made me taste love.

I was resistant, I had my walls up.

You assured me my heart would be safe in your hold.

Now here we are and you are gone.

You didn’t utter a word, just left this life we planned to have.

It ended as quickly as it started

And I’m left with regret, wishing I hadn’t let you in.


It’s not love if it makes your skin crawl.

If you find him talking about himself more than asking about you.

It’s not love if you have to remind him to call.

Because if he cared, he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about you too.

I’m no expert and I’ve had my fair share of pain.

But if he loved you, you wouldn’t feel this way.

It hurts right now because you feel his distance

wishing more than anything that you could change his mind.

But you are more than the affirmations you aren’t getting from this man.

It’s not love if he constantly makes you cry.


I see what you’re doing.

I know that you’re using me.

Do you think that I am too naive to understand your late night phone calls?

That when your full attention in the bedroom shifts to unresponsiveness

I don’t realize what I am to you?

I am a first generation college graduate, first generation graduate student, full time professional, head fucking bitch.

I grew up without a father, not due to lack of love rather lack of luck.

I survive, I persevere, and I make it look effortless.

But don’t you mistake for one minute the value of the person you’re using

the body you’re taking for granted.

The voice on the other line.