Strokes.

Letting you come over

was not an invitation

to take your pants off

when I said things were moving too quickly.

Telling me you were losing interest

because I wasn’t moving fast enough

after one “date”

made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

Telling me you were safe

and would not disappear

after getting what you wanted

and then blocking me out

was maniacal, manipulative, disgusting.

Sexual assault is not always rape.

It can be done through manipulation too.

Games.

I should have known what you were when you lied about jenga.

Who lies about something like jenga?!

“I love jenga. So much so that any bar that has it becomes a regular spot for me”.

If you loved jenga so much, why did I have to teach you the rules?

I’m not the quiet type.

So when I asked this and you admitted that you had only played once, I thought it was cute.

Ignoring the red flags

the lie.

If you’ll lie about jenga, what else are you lying about?

Liking me? Wanting to know me outside of the bedroom?

Sure enough, you were.

Up.

We are the same.

At least, I think we are.

So I know what it means when you act the way you’re acting.

I know your mind is on someone else.

And I feel silly.

Because I’ve always known this.

But part of me still hoped we could get to know each other

you would realize that I’m the one you want.

I wouldn’t be reckless with your heart.

I’m the person worth loving.

But instead you treat me with the disinterest she gives you.

You hardly even read my messages.

And I continue to seek attention in all the wrong places.