Seeing you happy is all I’ve wanted for you.

And it isn’t that it hurts me, seeing you with her.

It’s the strange, unfamiliar feeling I get when you ask me for advice.

What should I say? Does this seem right? Is she interested?

It feels warped assisting you in building something that could have been ours.

But instead, the focus is on her.

I want to say run, forget this, love me.

But instead I will proofread your witty banter and watch you gain the happiness I’ve wanted for you all along.


When you love someone who doesn’t deserve it, it feels like you’re watching yourself from above.

I know better than to tolerate your mistreatment, but like a car crash I can’t divert my gaze.

This hold on me that you’ve had for entirely too long is not due to any qualities about you that could be considered even remotely special.

I know you are no good, but still thoughts of you linger in the back of my head.

I thought about you today, and I almost said hello.

But doing that would lead you to believe you still have some form of hold on me.

You see, for a while you did. I loved a person who did not deserve it.

But when you love someone like that, you eventually come to your senses.

It took a while to fall back down to reality. But I am here and I am better than you could ever imagine.



Pursuing the dreams I never had

I find myself yearning to accomplish, achieve, create.

This newly developed interest in creating a legacy

is due to an acquired understanding of all that I can be.

No one ever told me I couldn’t do great things.

But when you grow up average, you tend to slip through the cracks.

What those math tests never showed anyone is this fire in my soul.

An ability to lead, persevere, understand, and take action.

I was not an honor student.

But what I lack in book smarts I make up for in ability.

I only just recently started seeing the big picture.

Imagining a life where I wind up on top.

Never did I have these dreams before.

But I am so much more than what I once thought.


It is the addiction that crave.

When I love someone it consumes me.

Staying up all night talking

I want to know more, more.

I am good at beginnings.

Intriguing, inquisitive, charming, sexy.

It’s the middle and ends that I struggle with.

Grasping to every word, uncomfortable with the space developing.

Why haven’t I heard from you, whats happening in your head?

It’s that consumption that drives my insecurities.

Making me the worst version of myself.

No longer am I mysterious, no longer am I cool.

I transform into a sad, big eyed thing

looking for any form of interest to hold on to.

The beginnings though, boy I am good at the beginnings.